Rumble stories about school. Mini-concert "Yeralash" (for elementary grades)

I.B. ErmolinaSchool jumble
(sketch for class theater)
Schoolchildren run in (4 people - 2 girls and 2 boys). They speak in turn.
- Guys! Have you heard? The teacher put a blot in the magazine! To the main page!
- We don't believe it!
- I saw it myself!
- That would be on my unit!
- That would be my deuce!
- If only not on my five!
The bell rings. The teacher (girl) enters.
- Hush, children! Biology class has begun! If you have anything to ask, please raise your hand.
The student raises his hand.
- Do you want to ask something, Seryozha?
- No, I'm just checking how the system works.
Another student raises his hand.
- Do you also check how the system works?
- No, I have a question. Mary Vanna, there is a saw fish, a hammer fish ...
- And what is it that interested you so much?
What are they building there?
- So, Tsvetkov, sit down, don't play clownish! Let's hear how you learned homework. The first person to respond will get a higher score.
- (Fedotov holds out his hand) Mary Vanna, I'll be the first. Give me three!
- Well, Fedotov, go to the blackboard. Did you learn the poem?
- I..It's... Well... Like him....
- Didn't learn? Sit down, two!
- Why two? They didn't even say a word?
- Well, OK. Get started!
- What to start?
- Poem!
- I ... did not learn.
- Sit down, grief onion! By the way, why weren't you at school yesterday?
- My brother got sick.
-What are you doing here?
- I rode his bike! You know, Mary Vanna, I saw a bird yesterday - it carried a straw in its beak!
- Well done! You are observant with us! I won't give you a bad rating just yet. Get in! (turns to the guys) Guys, who will answer where the bird flew with a straw in its beak? (pulls out hand)
- May I?
- You can, Lesha.
- Drink a cocktail?
- You need to read more, Tsvetkov!
- I read! But I prefer books about space.
- Ooooh! If you read such serious books, then tell me who was the first female pilot in Russia?
- Baba Yaga?
- I understand everything, Tsvetkov. You don't know about birds. About the pilots too. Tell at least yesterday's topic!
- About crocodiles? It's easy! - The length of the crocodile from head to tail is 5 meters, and from tail to head -7.
- What are you saying?! Is it possible?
- It happens! For example, from Monday to Wednesday - 2 days, and from Wednesday to Monday - 5!
- That's it, my patience has snapped! Where is your diary?
- His mother washed the diary in the washing machine!
-It's not mom...
-Bring a new one tomorrow! So. You recently wrote essays at home. Now you can read them to me. Tsvetkov!
- The woodpecker sat down and began to gnaw at the tree.
- Brilliant! By the way, your essay is like two drops of water similar to your sister's!
- So after all, we have one woodpecker for two!
- I would like to see your woodpecker!
- Come, Mary Ivanna!
-Can we?
- Pauline! Read!
- A cow is an animal with four legs at the corners.
- Have you ever seen a cow?
- No, Mary Vanna, only at the zoo.
- On Saturday, the whole class is going to the zoo - to look at the cow!
-Everyone: WOW!
- Fedotov! What do you have?
-The wind burst into the window, nimble, like a broom (jumps up, runs).
-Come back!
-Lisa, who wrote the essay for you?
- I don’t know, Mary Vanna, I went to bed early yesterday!
- Five your mom will get!
- Thank you, Mary Vanna.! - And now let's check how you learned all the months of the year. Well! Jan….
All (in chorus): - Var!
-ral-art-rel
-ai-yun, etc. (word endings)
Ending:
Mary Vanna: Parents - to school!
- Only not parents, please!
Mary Vanna: Dear adults! After all, the main thing is not the grades in our diaries.
All: And most importantly - that we be healthy!

Decoration for almost everyone children's holiday become funny scenes about school. KVN, held in native walls, New Year's party, the birth of the school - but you never know great reasons to have fun!

We are pleased to offer you a selection of several scenes that will help create a festive mood.

Short dialogues

The little ones about school offered here do not require decorations and memorization of long texts at all.

One student sleepily says to another:

I must be allergic!

Why do you say that?

Yes, I cover myself with a blanket and sleep all the time!

Two students after a geography lesson:

I still don't believe the earth is spinning!

Why so?

Yes, if it were spinning, the sea would have splashed long ago!

The doppelgänger angrily informs his friend:

You imagine? The teacher demanded that I name the simplest, which reproduces by division! I'm not good at math at all!

In the computer class

The following funny scenes about school also do not require special decorations. Only the latter will need an imitation of a computer class.

A stupid high school girl, showing off, looks at the tablet, as if in a mirror:

My light, mirror, tell me! Yes, tell the whole truth! Am I the sweetest in the world? Everyone is slimmer and more fashionable?

Mirror (drawn, but angrily):

I'll give you my answer! You frazzled me out! I am a tablet!

The student asks the teacher:

Ivan Ivanovich, did you have a tablet as a child?

No, what are you, then there were no computers!

And what did you play?

On the street!

The cleaner comes into the computer room and asks sternly:

Who here knows how to use computers?

All students, without exception, answer: "I am."

Cleaning lady (terribly):

Then urgently go online and look for a site where they teach how to use the toilet!

School anniversary scene: funny and not very long

This scene requires only the characteristic features of the actors. "Nerd" should be wearing glasses and speak strictly, and the girl and her girlfriend should look silly, cutesy and enthusiastic.

A guy who looks like a typical "nerd" tells his friend:

Imagine, Tomka called me home to see what was wrong with her computer! I come, and she, apparently, cannot sit in one place at all! It spins on the chair, so the cord is wound around the leg of the chair. I swore, untangled the cord, inserted the plug that popped out, turned on her computer and left.

Tomochka, rolling his eyes, enthusiastically tells his classmate:

Oh, this Lyutikov also knows how to conjure!

What are you?!

Well, yes, he came to me, looked intently at the computer, raised his hands up, whispered something mystical, turned my chair 10 times counterclockwise, kicked the computer with his foot, whispered something mystical again and left. Guess it all worked!

Classmate, admiringly:

Blimey! Witch!

Very funny scenes about school

After explaining in the lesson of natural history, the teacher asks the class:

Well, now you understand why it snows in winter, but not in summer?

Petrov, from the place:

Of course it's understandable! If it fell in the summer, it would melt!

At the Russian language lesson, the teacher says:

Petrov, “I am studying, you are studying, he is studying” - what time is this?

Petrov, with a sigh:

Lost, Mary Ivanna!

Friends come up to the excellent student and say:

Andryukha, let's go to a cafe with the girls tonight!

Andrew thought:

No, I won't go with you! There is music roaring, everyone is making noise ...

So what?

Yes, I doubt that in such an environment I will be able to fully understand the essence of the Lebesgue-Stieltjes integral.

Sketches for younger students

The following funny scenes - for elementary school. They can be successfully shown at a holiday with kids. True, high school students will have to help their younger comrades in this.

A high school student says to his friends:

Look how stupid this first grader is! I'll show you now!

He calls the baby and, when he comes up, says to him:

In this hand I have 50 rubles, and in this hand 10 - what will you take for yourself?

The kid takes 10 rubles. High school students laugh, twist their fingers at the temple, shrug.

A friend of a first grader on the sidelines asks him:

Why did you choose 10 rubles?

Well, if I choose 50, then it's game over!

A first grader examines a high school girl's manicure (admiringly):

Wow, what long nails you have!

High school student, coyly:

What do you like?

Well, yes! With them, probably, it is so convenient to climb trees!

Mom looks in the diary of a first grader. And there the deuce is crossed out, and there is a four next to it. Mom, with horror:

Vanechka! What it is?!

Vanechka, calmly looking at her mother:

The teacher told us that if we want, we can correct a bad grade!

Scenes with teachers

Next funny short scenes you can play about the school yourself, or you can invite teachers to participate in them.

Conversation with the teacher:

Sidorkin, didn't you promise me that you would correct your deuce?

Yes, Mary Ivanna.

Didn't I promise to call your parents if you don't?

Yes, Mary Ivanna, but if I did not keep my promise, then you can not keep yours either!

The teacher sternly looks at the latecomer:

Semyon! You're late again! What is it this time?

Semyon, guilty:

Mary Ivanna, I woke up, looked at the time, and blinked unsuccessfully.

The music teacher turns to mommy:

Your daughter needs to play the piano more!

Mom, sighing heavily:

Lord, so much more! Our seventh neighbor has already moved out!

Dreams Dreams...

These little ones about school will already require minimal decorations showing that the guys have left the school, although these conversations can also take place at recess. It all depends on the imagination of the director.

Sidorov, sighing heavily, goes home from school. Ivanov asks him:

Sidorov, what are you doing? Did you get a double?

Sidorov sadly:

And adds dreamily:

Imagine how much easier it would be to learn if a theorem in geometry could be proved with the words: “Yes, you see!”

The guy is dreamy: “It would be great if we could read minds! I would then know what to answer in the lesson!

His buddy: “Yeah, and I would also know what the teacher thinks when you answer wrong!”

Romantic relationship

Of course, funny short scenes about school cannot ignore how unexpectedly sometimes sympathy between boys and girls is shown at school.

Little Johnny escorts Masha home from school and says to her hesitantly:

Listen, Masha, I want to confess to you (pause), (she speaks quickly) while you were walking to the blackboard, I tore off the wings of a fly and threw it into your briefcase! I'm sorry!

Masha, narrowing her eyes cunningly:

I wonder if it's tasty?

Vovochka is confused:

I don't know... What are you asking?

Masha calmly:

Yes, I want to apologize too! I threw it into your soup in the dining room while you went out for bread!

Let's laugh a little more

Even the funniest scenes about school are often taken directly from life, so the organizers of the holiday can come up with something similar themselves.

At a Russian language lesson, Vovochka asks a neighbor in his desk:

Hear how to say correctly: cottage cheese or cottage cheese?

Neighbor, adjusting his glasses, with a smart look:

Emphasis on "o"!

Vovochka, after a pause:

Thanks! Rescued, so rescued!

A classmate (in appearance - an excellent student) says, sighing:

Yes, Lozhkin, you are not friends with your head at all!

Lozhkin, shrugging his shoulders:

And I'm clean with her business relationship- I feed her, and she thinks!

Conversation with the teacher

Funny sketches about school - whether you arrange KVN or other fun events - are not complete without dialogues similar to those below.

The teacher is talking to a fashionably dressed high school student:

Lerochka, well done, you stopped being late for school!

Yes, Mary Ivanna, it's all because of my mother.

Did she have an educational conversation with you?

No, she just bought herself chic Italian boots!

So what?

Like what? Now I get up first to have time to put them on before my mother! (Proudly retires)

The teacher throws up her hands.

An elderly teacher, sighing, says to her colleague:

I'll probably have to quit!

What are you talking about! You are the best teacher in the school!

I’ve earned quite a lot ... I go into the tram in the morning, there are a lot of people, I raise my eyes and say sternly: “Hello, sit down!”

Funny? Of course it's funny!

Funny sketches about school are good because they are easy to play, they do not require exhausting rehearsals. The main thing is that your cheerful mood is transmitted to the audience!

Mitya, do you know what the word "super" means?

Well, yes, this is something so big, more than that already and can not be.

What about hyper?

And the "hyper" ... (Mitya rubs his forehead) Oh! This is what is more "super"!

Girls dancing in the disco

Listen, don't you know what a mosol is?

Well, this is such a huge bone, they put it in borscht. What are you asking?

Yes, I heard a cool song here: “You my heart, You my soul…”

Music from a famous song performed by Modern Talking begins to sound on stage

Petya with a huge "lantern" under his eye and his friend:

Petka, why are you covered in bruises?

Playing snowballs with a girl!

So what?

So she, it turns out, is from the youth handball team! And these don't miss!

Case in the dressing room

Some funny scenes about school require the participation of extras. But they still won't be difficult to set up.

The girls, screaming, are dragging the stubborn guy. The teacher stops them.

Stop! What's happened?!

One of the girls is indignant:

Lyutikov spied on us in the locker room!

The teacher, looking sternly at Lyutikov:

So what, did you like it?

Lyutikov is silent in confusion, then loudly gives out:

Girls in chorus, drawn out and offended:

How not?!

All funny scenes about school, as you understand, must be played sincerely and seriously. Minimal decorations also do not hurt.

On the stage, you can put, for example, two desks and a board to recreate the appearance of a class. If events take place at recess or on the way home, you can dream up. For the "road home" one tree or bench is enough. And the situation taking place in the school corridor can be played out in front of a large window in the background.

The main thing in these scenes is not to overload them with decorations. They are short, and therefore the emphasis should be on what the actor says, and not on what surrounds him at that moment.

To build scenes in one concert, you can invite a host who will tell the audience where this situation is happening. Imagine, and your holiday will definitely be remembered and make the most wonderful impression!

The scene "Whose help is better?"

King.

Alina, Polina, Evelina - daughters of the king.

King(daughters). Today I walked around our palace and was just horrified: a complete mess! Books are lying on the floor, shoes are on the windowsills, and clothes are on the beds! And everywhere - candy wrappers! And so I decided to do some cleaning today. And I want to ask you: how will you help me?

Alina. Here's how I can help. When you start cleaning, I will turn on the record player and play your favorite record "Kings Can Do Anything". With this fun song, you will instantly clean up!

Pauline. I'd rather turn on the TV. There will be shown the program "Visiting a fairy tale." I will watch it carefully and tell you everything. And you will clean the whole palace fabulously fast!

King(turning to Evelina with a sigh). What will you turn on?

Evelina. I will turn on the vacuum cleaner. No, first I'll put everything in its place. Then I'll take a broom and sweep all the garbage. Then I will remove the dust with a vacuum cleaner. After that, wipe the window sills and all the furniture with a damp cloth. And when everything is clean, we will all sit down together and watch TV.

King. Well, now I found out that I have only one real assistant!

Scene "At the doctor's"

Characters

A student with a briefcase is standing in front of the doctor's office. He is indecisive.

Student. What to do? To go or not to go? And suddenly kicked out? No I'm not going. Yes, what about control? No, you have to go. Was not! (He pulls out a towel from his briefcase, ties it around his head. Then he knocks on the door.)

Doctor. Yes, yes, come in!

Student(included). Can?

Doctor(writes something, then stops writing, looks at the student). Come in, come in, sit down. What are you complaining about?

Student. Feeling very bad.

Doctor. Specifically, what hurts?

Student. Head. Stomach. Ear stuffed up. I hear nothing and understand nothing. Then, this, dizziness, pressure and palpitations.

Doctor. The temperature is?

Student. There is, there is! Thirty-eight and eight. Or forty-four and four. I do not remember.

Doctor. Clear. Do you remember your last name?

Student. No, I don't remember... I forgot.

Doctor. And forgot the name too?

Student. Yeah. And patronymic. Because my head hurts.

Doctor. And in what class do you study, and in what school - also forgot?

Student. Class ... it seems, the sixth "yu". And I completely forgot school.

Doctor. OK. Open the horn wider and say: "Aaaa."

Student. A-a-algebra.

Doctor. What is "algebra"? Control, or what, today?

Student. No, tomorrow. Oh no, I don't remember.

Doctor. Hmm yeah. (He looks at the student over his glasses.) A very difficult case! You can't go to school. You have to stay at home for two weeks.

Student(happily). Houses?

Student. What about English?

Doctor. It is forbidden!

Student. What about geography?

Doctor. In no case!

Student. Can you go to the cinema?

Doctor. Didn't I say? Necessarily! Twice a day - morning and afternoon!

Student. Many thanks!

Doctor. To health! Everything. You can go.

Student. Goodbye. Oh, and help?

Doctor. What help?

Student. Exemption from school. You didn't give me!

Doctor. Ah, liberation. No, unfortunately it won't work!

Student. Why?

Doctor. How can I write you a certificate if I don’t know your name, surname, or the school where you study!

Student. Oh, I think I'm starting to remember.

Doctor. Well done! What's the last name?

Student. Kotikov.

Student. Vasya! That is, Vasily Egorovich.

Doctor. Very well, now remember the class, the school.

Student. Sixth "b" class, school number twenty-five.

Doctor. Now think about algebra.

Student. About what algebra?

Doctor. About the one on which the control is tomorrow. Remembered?

Student. I remembered.

Doctor. Amazing! You see how quickly you recovered from me! And you don't even need a referral! Or is it still necessary? To the principal of school number twenty-five?

Student. No need.

Doctor. Then goodbye. Kotikov Vasily Egorovich. Yes, don't forget to take the turban off your head, it doesn't suit you!

The student removes the towel from his head and leaves.

Scene "Grandmothers and grandchildren"

Characters

Two grandmothers.

First grandmother. Hello my dove! Let's go for a walk in the park.

Second grandmother. What the hell, I haven't done my homework yet.

First grandmother. Which lessons?

Second grandmother. Now it is fashionable to do homework for grandchildren. I want to try it, although it is probably non-pedagogical.

First grandmother. Why is it non-pedagogical? Yes, I have been doing lessons for my grandchildren all my life. If anything - ask me, I have a lot of experience.

Second grandmother. Well, if it’s not difficult, check how I learned the poem: “There is a green oak near the seashore, a golden chain on that oak ...”

First grandmother. So good.

Second grandmother. "... Both day and night, the dog is a scientist ..."

First grandmother. What other dog?

Second grandmother. Well, I don't know what breed he is, maybe a Doberman Pinscher?

First grandmother. Yes, not a dog, but a scientist cat! Understood?

Second grandmother. Ah, I got it, I got it! Well, then I’ll start first: “At the seashore, there is a green oak, a golden chain on that oak, day and night, a scientist cat ... goes to the grocery store with a string bag.”

First grandmother. With what bag? Which deli? Learn the poem again.

Second grandmother. Oh, I have so many more lessons! One grandson is in the sixth grade and the other is in the first. His teacher asked to bring cash to school.

First grandmother. What checkout? From the store, right? Don't drag me into this!

Second grandmother. Well, where is the store? Cashier is the alphabet. Okay, I'll do it myself, and you help me solve the problem.

First grandmother. So... (takes a textbook, reads) "...two pipes are connected to the bathroom..." Remember, in order to solve a problem, you need to have a good idea of ​​what it says. “Two rude pipes are connected to the bathroom ...” - did you imagine?

Second grandmother. Yes, yes, I did.

First grandmother."... Through one water flows in, through another it pours out." Presented?

Second grandmother. Introduced! (Running away.) Presented-ah!

First grandmother. Wait! Where are you running?

Second grandmother. Water is pouring out! Can fill the whole floor ...

First grandmother. Take it easy. In fact, the water does not pour out. This is only mentioned in the task! Now tell me, when will the bath be filled?

Second grandmother. Will never fill up. They themselves said - the water does not pour ...

First grandmother. Goodbye. You will be taken to the hospital. And my homework has not yet been done: I need to conduct an experiment in botany - to grow beans.

Second grandmother. Oh, yes, yes, I remember you took beans from me.

First grandmother. Yes, something does not grow these beans! Apparently poor quality...

Second grandmother. How poor quality? Well, do good to people! It can be said that I tore off the beans from myself - I took them out of the soup.

First grandmother. Wait, wait, how - from the soup? It's me, it turns out, raised boiled beans? Thank you, cheered...

Second grandmother. Well, I didn’t know why you need beans, don’t be offended!

First grandmother. What do you think, if we continue to study so hard, maybe they will give us some grade?

Second grandmother(whispers). Between us, it's already been placed.

First grandmother. Yes? And what is the rating?

Second grandmother. Kol!

First grandmother. Why such a bad rating?

Second grandmother. Because we don't mind our own business.

First grandmother. Adults do everything for the children, and then they are surprised: “Ah, they grow up with white hands! ..”

The old ladies leave.

Scene "Enchanted letter"

Characters

Denis. Once Alenka, Mishka and I were playing in the yard. It was before the New Year. They brought a tree to our yard. She lay large, furry, and smelled so deliciously of frost that we stood like fools and smiled. And suddenly Alenka said:

Alenka. Look, there are SENSES hanging on the Christmas tree!

Denis. Mishka and I rolled like that!

bear. Oh, I'm dying of laughter! Investigations!

Denis. Well gives: detectives!

Bear. The girl is five years old, but she says "detectives." Oh, I can't! Oh, I feel bad! Oh water! Give me more water! I'm going to faint now! (Falls, laughs.)

Denis. Oh, I even started to hiccup with laughter! Hic! Hic! I'll probably die now! The girl is already five years old, she will soon marry, and she is a detective!

Alenka(offended). Did I say that correctly! This is my tooth falling out and whistling. I want to say "spy", but I whistle "spy".

bear. Think! Her tooth fell out! .. I have fallen out as many as three and one is staggering, but I still speak correctly. Listen here: chuckles! What? Really, great? HIGHLIGHTS! I can even sing

Mihka clubfoot

Walking through the forest

Khyhki collects

And he puts it in his pocket.

Alenka(shouts). Ah-ah-ah! Not right! Hooray! You say "snickers", but you have to - "detectives"!

bear. No, it's necessary - "chuckles"!

Alenka. No, detectives!

Bear. No, "snickers"!

Alenka. No, detectives! (Obarevut.)

Denis. I laughed so hard that I even got hungry. I'll go home. Here are the freaks! Why are they arguing so, since both are wrong? After all, it is a very simple word. No "detectives", no "snickers", but briefly and clearly: "fifties"! That's all.

According to the materials of the newsreel "Yeralash"

Scene "Day of Help to Parents"

Characters

Anton. Mother.

Three classmates of Anton.

Anton appears on the stage. He wipes the dust with a rag, sweeps the floor with a brush, while dancing and singing: "My baby, I miss you ...".

Mom comes in outerwear, freezes in place.

Mother. Anton, what happened?

Anton. Nothing happened, mom. Let me help you undress. (Helps take off jacket.)

Mom enters the room, notices that the dust has been wiped off.

Mother. Did you dust off? Myself?

Anton. Myself.

Mother. Tell me honestly, Anton, what happened?

Anton. Nothing happened.

Mother. Am I being called to school?

Anton. Not...

Mom walks across the room, notices that the floor has been swept.

Mother. Have you swept the floor? Myself?! Unbelievable... (She puts her hand to her forehead, checking to see if she has a fever.)

Anton. Mom, don't worry. I washed the dishes and did my homework.

Mother. Lessons done ... I beg you, Anton, tell me what happened after all? (Clutches his heart, sits down on a chair.)

Anton. Well, I'm telling you: nothing happened! The doorbell rings. Enter three children.

1st. Good evening! How was Parenting Day?

2nd. Hak, cleanliness, order. Wiped the dust, swept the floor ...

3rd(opens magazine). Check mark! (Ticks with a pencil.)

Anton. Helping Parents Day, Helping Parents Day! Here, look what your Parenting Day has brought a person to! (Pointing to mom.)

Children surround mother from all sides.

1st(vigorously). Valerian! Water! (Counting drops.) 23, 24, 25! (Gives mother a drink.) How nervous all mothers are! It was necessary to first explain that it was only for one day and tomorrow everything would be the same!

Scene "About a kitten who could not read"

Characters

Yasha is a kitten.

One day Murka's cat, Yasha's mother, said to the kitten:

Murka. It's time for you, Yasha, to learn to read.

Yasha. I'll still succeed!

Murka. Nothing to be lazy. Let's start right now. Sit down, I'll show you the letters.

Yasha reluctantly sits down.

Murka. Let's start with the simplest letter - "O". (Shows the letter "O")

Yasha. Some circle...

Murka. Yes, it looks like a circle. This letter is called "O". Repeat!

Yasha. This letter is called "O". What words contain this letter?

Murka. In many. For example, in the words "cat" and "cat". (Shows cards with words written on them.)

Yasha. And in the word "kitten"?

Murka. And in the word "kitten" there are even two letters "O". Here look. (Shows a card with a written word.)

Yasha. See see! Two mugs! And three? Three letters "O" happens in words?

Murka. Certainly. There is such a good word - "milk". (Shows a card.)

Yasha. Truth! Three whole circles! Is there a letter in the word "ice cream"?

Murka. There is. And also three. Here look. (Shows a card.)

Yasha. Good word! And in two ice creams, that means six letters "O". And in three...

Murka. Don't talk nonsense! And in general, we now have no arithmetic! That's all for today. Go to walk!

Yasha. What a good letter! And it happens in the most good words! And the tastiest!

Yasha approaches the screen, on which hangs a sign with the inscription: “Caution! Angry dog!"

Yasha. What a beautiful sign! And three words are written on it ... And in the first word there are whole ... one, two, three, four ... Wow!

As many as four letters "O"! Blimey! There must be something very tasty or pleasant here! ..

The kitten looks behind the screen. From there, a deafening bark is heard. Yasha jumps out from behind the screen, tears off the sign and runs to her mother.

Murka(seeing the excited Yasha). What happened to you? Why are you so disheveled and trembling all over? What happened?

Yasha. Mom, I was walking, I saw a fence, a beautiful sign hung on the fence (gives the sign to mom), three words are written on it, and in the first word there are four letters “O”! I thought that there must be something very tasty or pleasant...

Murka. So! I understand everything! This is what happens when you can't read! Do you know what is written on this plate? "Carefully! Angry dog!".

Yasha. Yes, it is written there correctly, the dog is really angry ... You know what, mom, let's learn the rest of the letters!

Scene "Word game"

Characters

Petya is a son.

Two boys - one older, the other younger - go on stage, sit on chairs. In the hands - pictures and pencils.

Peter. Dad, draw me something.

Dad. No, we will take turns drawing and play word at the same time.

Peter. Like this?

Dad. That's how. We will invent words for any letter and depict these words with drawings. Take, for example, the letter "P". I start. (Draws a briefcase, shows.)

Peter. Clear. And I'll draw ... (draws a locomotive).

Dad. Well done! The ship is like a real one! And I came up with this ... (draws and shows the belt).

Peter. No belt! He's not on the letter "P"!

Dad. It's not a belt, it's a belt!

Peter. Well you figured it out! Then I will draw ... (draws and shows a cat).

Dad. But you can’t have a cat, it’s not with the letter “P”!

Peter. And this is not just a cat, but Fluff!

Dad. Oh you sly one! Okay. I will draw ... (draws and shows a portrait).

Peter. Who is it?

Dad. It's nobody. It's just a portrait.

Peter. Great. And I'll draw ... (draws and shows uncle).

Dad. And who is this?

Peter. It's nobody. It's just a passerby.

Dad. Well done! And I'll draw a parrot. (Draws and shows.)

Peter. Great! And I'll draw a penguin. (Draws and shows.)

Dad. Look. (Shows the boy in the picture.)

Peter. Who is this? If it's a boy it doesn't count.

Dad. What, didn't you know? After all, this is Petya, that is, you!

Peter. Now found out! And I'll draw ... (draws and shows uncle).

Dad. Who is this? If uncle, it does not count!

Peter. What, didn't you know? It's dad, that is you!

Dad. Now I know. And here's what I came up with. (Draws and shows a woman.) This is our mother. I drew her because she is a teacher and teaches singing.

Peter. Great! And here's what I came up with! (Draws and shows a calendar.)

Dad. Calendar? Why?

Dad. Right. And on this day we will present to her ... (draws a gift and flowers).

Peter. A gift is understandable. What about flowers? They are not in the letter "P" ...

Dad. So what? Anyway, mom will be happy!

Scenario 1. Bicycle

Spring park. Someone roller-skates and skates, someone just eats ice cream. A dull boy of about twelve slowly rides along the path. He looks like a real smart guy: half-face glasses, a pile of books in the basket of an old bicycle. He drives up to the bench, sits down on it, takes out a book and reads intently.

Hello, Lomonosov, - is suddenly heard above his ear. A hand falls on the boy's shoulder from behind. He shudders and closes his eyes, but, realizing that they will not beat him, he carefully opens his eyes. Opposite is a classmate.

Hello Gregory.

“Here you are sitting here, cramming with a crammer, you don’t know joy,” a classmate exaggerates. - And life is not only a textbook. Life is that's it! This park, these people and even this bike! He flaps his arms theatrically and kneels beside his brand new sports bike.

By the way, I also have a bicycle.

Ha-ha-ha, to carry books? See what bicycles are for!

Grisha jumps on the bike and starts spinning, jumping on the back wheel and on the front.

Well, can you drive through a puddle, smart guy? - asks Lomonosov.

No problem, fool!

The boy drives into a puddle all the way. Ouch! A spray of mud irrigates his athletic ass and back.

Life is everything! And even this puddle, - Lomonosov adjusts his glasses on his nose and sedately retires on his old bicycle with wings on wheels.

Scenario 2: Remove it immediately

End of the working day. Tired mother comes home, rings the doorbell. The door opens and she is greeted by the sonorous voice of her eldest daughter:

Hello, you are in the "Take It Off Now!" Today our heroine is a mother of two children, an office front worker, a housewife, (meaningly into the camera) just pay attention to these bags ...

At that moment, the bags fall from the mother's hands onto the floor.

Galina Leontievna - picks up the youngest daughter, - but for her husband it's just ..
Gasya - her husband is humming, and then we notice that the father of the family and grandmother are obediently sitting on the chairs to the side.
The style of our heroine, - continues the eldest daughter, - is rather faceless, especially when compared with the images of Aunt Masha - Oksanka's mother, - continues the eldest daughter.
But we decided to correct the situation with our own hands! Take it off immediately! exclaims the youngest daughter.

They take off their mother's coat, seat her on a chair, dye it and tie it with scarves. The mother endures out of curiosity, but is unable to contain the annoyance on her face when she finally sees her funny image in the mirror.

The girls return home from school the next day. The doorbell rings, the mother opens it with the words:

Good evening! You are in the Get It Now! program. Today our heroines are two girls, lazy, workers of the 42nd school with an artistic bias. They are called…

Mother turns to her father, who, like yesterday, obediently sits with his grandmother on the sidelines. He picks up:

Sasha and Glasha.

The lifestyle of our heroines, especially when compared with the lifestyle of Oksanka, Aunt Masha's daughter, is rather sloppy. But we decided to fix the situation. Remove it immediately! - says the mother and solemnly hands the girls a bucket, a broom and a rag. Those with annoyance on their faces go to wash their rooms.

Scenario 3. Playing with a kitten

Oh, well, he's still pretty! exclaims a girl of four or five years old.
Cute little one! Ufatenky-half-fat! - lisping girlfriend.
Let's play hospital! - exclaims the girl. She proudly puts her mother's glasses on her nose and takes out a toy stethoscope. It is accepted to listen to the cat's heart, commanding, with an important look:
Breathe. Don't breathe.
No, let's play chef! - interrupts her bored girlfriend.
We'll even cut off the kitten's tail! - happily picks up the girl.
Pabababam, - rock music sounds.
Ihihihi - the girls rub their hands in anticipation.
FROM predatory look and with burning eyes they go to the kitchen, take out and sharpen a knife. Then they swing and slash them on the table with all their might ... A cry of “meow” is heard! The tail of a cold fish flies off to a contented cat.

"Yeralash". Scenes for the matinee on March 8

Dear colleagues! I want to bring to your attention 4 numbers - mini-sketch - for use in a matinee dedicated to the International women's day. These issues are combined into two issues of the Yeralash magazine. The first issue is “about mother and child”, and the second one is “about grandmother and grandson”.

Director - Release one. Frame one. The scene "That's so pleased!"

STAGE "THIS IS SO PLEASANT!"

Participants: mother and son (rubber boots in hands)

Mom - Why do you wear rubber boots?

Son - I'll go to the street in them.

Mom - But there is no dirt, you understand!

Son - Don't be afraid, mom, I'll find it!

(to the beat of "Yeralash" the actors bow at the same time)

"Director" - Issue one. Frame two. "Polite".

Shown in action:

He's in the midnight nap

I got my mother out of bed.

(Son enters, shakes his mother by the shoulder)

Mom (touches her son's forehead) - Got sick, son?

Son - I forgot to tell you:

"Mother! Goodnight!"

Mom "faints", son shrugs in bewilderment

(end of "Yeralash", bow)

The musical screensaver "Yeralash" sounds.

The “director” comes out with a clapperboard

"Director" - Issue two. Frame one. Scene "Medicine for Grandma"

STAGE "MEDICATION FOR GRANDMA"

Doctor, 2 grandchildren, grandmother

Grandma comes out to the music, starts sweeping the floor. He suddenly groans, throws down a broom, grabs his heart, sits down on the "sofa". The “doctor” comes running to the sound of an ambulance siren, gives an injection to my grandmother, and leaves.

Two grandchildren come out to different music. The first grandson has a bottle of medicine in his hands, the other has a towel.

1 grandson - Doctor wrote to grandma

Vitamins and pills

Put her to bed

And he didn't let me get up.

(gives grandmother medicine, starts sweeping)

Grandma - High blood pressure

From overwork!

2 grandson - We will take care of our grandmother,

Stop cooking and baking!

Prepared lunch

The floor is shiny and there is no dust.

We did it ourselves

With important things!

1 grandson - Grandma sat in bed

And said:

Grandma - Really!

2 grandson - And in surprise

The pressure has dropped!

(beat "Yeralash")

"Director" - Issue two. Frame two. Scene "Question for filling"

"TRICKY QUESTION"

Grandmother comes out (sits down to knit, and Grandfather (sits down to read a newspaper.) Granddaughter runs out to the music

Granddaughter - Who is better - girls?

What a deaf but wise grandfather

Said that:

Grandpa - ...the best pancakes!

(end of "Yeralash", bow)

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