Anniversary scene new Russian grandmas. Comic sketch about grandma and grandpa "new technologies"

Leading: Two "new Russian" grandmothers came to our holiday with congratulations.

Hello grandmothers, where did you come to us from? And who are you?

grandma1: Right now, we will tell and show everything about ourselves, right Matryona?

Grandmother2: True Flower.

SONG "NEW RUSSIAN ABOK"

(to the tune of "Merry Girls", they sing together)

funny old ladies,

cool girlfriends

friendly faces,

Lights of cheerful eyes.

We walk around the area

Two white crows

We will congratulate anyone, just treat us.

We walk around the area

Two white crows

We congratulate anyone

Just feed us.

grandma1 : (referring to leader)

Yes, and who should be congratulated? Who was born to you. Girl or boy?

Leading: We have a girl!

Grandma sings:

Girls are different

Black, white, red ... (while looking at the granddaughter of the hero of the day)

Leading: Stop! Stop! It's not that girl! Congratulations to her grandmother!

After all, it's her birthday!

Grandmother 1: Ahhh!

grandma2: It is necessary to congratulate in a new, modern way.
(sings in the style of rap with characteristic movements)

You look cool today

Cool just like mine

And what is sitting behind the muzzle,

Perhaps all your relatives?

grandma1: Think!

I can do that, even better. Listen here!

(continues rap)

We came here today

For this anniversary of yours

You are as beautiful as ever

More than many of ours!

Grandmother2: Well, well done, well done! Well you do it with your hands!
grandma1: Liked? Here's something!
Grandmother2: And how do you think, will they pour us a drink today or not?
grandma1: I think that they will pour it, you just need to command.
Grandmother2: Let's fill the glasses, comrades! We fill! Who wants to say a toast?
grandma1: Let's drink to youth and old age, to naivete and wisdom, to stupidity and experience - to two opposite poles, between which is all life!

3. Congratulations from the children.

Leading: Dear friends, before I say something, I will again turn to the men, fill the glasses. Dear guests, in the Orthodox tradition, family life is understood as the Path to Salvation, the ascent along which is associated with carrying the cross of everyday duties, mutual work, cooperation, understanding and harmony.
Conjugal love extended to children warms them. Children are the greatest joy, the greatest happiness for parents, for the whole family! And so, With the words of congratulations, the eldest daughter NATASHA and her family are addressing you!

Leading: Dear friends, for such sincere words from the lips of my daughter, I propose to raise the glasses and drain them to the very bottom.

Well, now the floor is given to the sons of JURA and WIFE!

Game "Do you know the birthday girl well?"

Leading: Friends, well, first I’ll ask the men to fill their glasses, don’t forget not only to ourselves ... and ask you this question, “DO YOU KNOW THE BIRTHDAY GIRL WELL?” I checked everything with her before the feast, so I won’t be able to deceive. She probably knows you all well, because she gathered her closest and closest friends, well, the question is different ... and so, let me ask questions, and you, in turn, answer them together.

So, in __________, a girl was born, who was named ________________________,. Who knows...

1) - Favorite dish? _________________________________

2) - Favorite color? __________________________________

3) - What is her favorite pastime, hobby?

4) - Does the birthday girl like milk? _______________________________

5) - Does the birthday girl like fruit drink with currant jam? _____________________

6)- What TV program does he like to watch? ____________________________

7) - And the shoes on her today, what color? _______________

8) - And your favorite time of the year? _________________________________

9) - Does the birthday girl like to dance until she drops? _____________________________

10) - Does our birthday girl like to drink? _______________________________

11) - And what kind of strong drinks does the birthday girl like? _________________________

And if, in your opinion, the birthday girl likes to drink, I propose to raise glasses and drink for the birthday girl!

4. Congratulations from sister and brother.

Leading: And while you are drinking, I will tell you what the name Galina means. Translated from Greek: calmness, serenity, silence. The qualities inherent in her name are simplicity, beauty and brightness ... (well, etc., which is characteristic of the name) Independent and hardworking, diplomatic, kind, flirtatious, Galina takes great care of her family, an ideal mother and wife. Notice how much good qualities took on this beautiful name. And now I want to give the opportunity to congratulate the birthday girl to people who know her from birth, remember the secrets of childhood pranks and funny stories of youth, the floor is given to brother GENNADY and his family, and sister TATYANA and her family!
(Congratulate brother and sister in turn)

SCENES OF DOCTORS (Natasha, Seryozha and ...

3 doctors appear in white coats, with an enema, with a heating pad, a large thermometer drawn on cardboard.

A beautifully designed diploma is read out, and at the same time certain manipulations (measurements) are performed.

For example, ".. ear, throat, nose, liver ..." are applied with a stethoscope to the named places. The thermometer is put under the arm, you can insert a whistle into the enema for laughter, and periodically squeak it.

We, a team of anniversary medical workers - "Polyclinic No. 7", for "___" years have been monitoring the life of the respected ANNIVERSARY!
As a result, we have approved a new standard of life activity, which received state registration number "No. ______" From "_____" _______ 20__ by "_____" ___________20__ Titled "JUBILEE"

On the basis of which our hero of the day was issued a certificate for examination by a team of medical workers, who later, after the consultation, issued a verdict.

The whole council of doctors,
What came to this holiday,
The hero of the day examined
And, of course, stunned!

Ear, throat, nose, liver,
Heart, kidneys, spleen,
Appreciated and brains
On the subject of melancholy, melancholy.
Taking the meanders of the depth,
And intestine length,
Calculate the metabolism
The width of the holes of all,
The conclusion was made like this:
ANNIVERSARY - then YOUNG!

The cardiogram says: the heart beats flawlessly.

According to a blood test - fit for fiery love,

and like a glass of urine - it does not hit the head.

And the dimensions of all latitudes, all depths and all leg lengths

corresponds to the standards of the world, republican.

Yes, and in the lower floor, when viewed, everything is in order, only smeared heels.

Well, yes, it doesn’t matter - we always ran a lot.

And the language of the hero of the day is not worn out!

Normally, the brain, digestion, pressure is not naughty yet,

and physically can work up to a sweat.

She can go in for sports - we can’t keep up with her!

He warms with a kind word, he can do anything, he can do everything:

wash, wash, cook, plant in the garden,

By the way, come to work regularly!

In general, this instance
Vigorous, healthy, not at all old.
We conclude:
Doesn't need treatment!
Is it just to rest
Maybe move to the sea.
Overflowing lakes,
On the Siberian sands.
Or, of course, on Ivanka,
On the lawn, under the bushes!

So that on the 100th anniversary, it would not be nicer for you!

Presenter: And we continue to congratulate Tatyana. As the proverb says, "Tell me who your friend is and I'll tell you who you are."

It's true - each of you can say something about your friend, right? No, we are not talking about what he borrowed from you before the salary, but forgot to return it ... We are talking about something else - about the good ... About the fact that your friend is a faithful, reliable, excellent interlocutor, a successful professional - you can say something like that about your friend? Uh ... And if you try? (pleasantly). Well, at least something ... Voot, remembered, well done! So, consider that you yourself have all these wonderful qualities! Today is all about beauty. Let's not talk about the tendency of your friends to depression today!

But everyone knows that in this huge barrel of friendly euphoria, sung for centuries, there is a huge ladle of tar ... yes, I'm talking about her, about female friendship, about which there are many tales. It's like it doesn't exist at all...

As in one famous saying: "Friendship between women is just a non-aggression pact." But we know that this is not at all the case!
You must admit, friendship between a man and a woman .... well, that's another lottery!

But female friendship happens, how it happens!

And you don't have to go far to see it clearly! Our dear hero of the occasion came to congratulate her retired friends! Moreover, in this case, “pensioners” sounds like a compliment, because you still need to look for such incendiary ladies of retirement age!

Girlfriends: sing to the tune of "Buranovskiye Babushki"

(1 verse and 1 chorus)

We crawled to our beloved girlfriend for the anniversary,
Though we are already old,
But you, Tanya, pour us some.
We will congratulate you
Sing, dance, read poetry,
Well, you are for us for this
You will pour Tanya.

Boom, boom, boom, we'll drink
Come on, Tanya, pour us a quick drink.
And we will have vodka and beer,
And we will have water, but only tomorrow / 2 times /

…………………

Seventh ditty:
Your vodka is delicious
Yes, the glasses are small!
Get out the glasses
Drink up, girls!

Eighth ditty:
How many anniversaries in life
We always celebrated!
But such as Tanya's,
Never seen!

Ninth ditty:
Tanya is a clockwork girl,
She dances - even now!
Pull on a miniskirt
And the girl is top notch!

……………………………….

Presenter:
Dear guests, gentlemen, So let's meet the grandmothers, After all, they did not come in vain today. Through seas and oceans they went here, To wish our hero of the day to be well-fed, drunk and happy always!
And what about grandmothers, is it long, was your path short? We've been waiting for you!

Buranovskaya grandmother: Pour, drink,
And we'll wait for you here
Let's start the concert again.

(everyone raises their glasses and drinks for the hero of the day).

……………..

3rd Buranovskaya grandmother:
Dear jubilee, we will present our gift,
Let's sing to the heap.
So let's start handing now,
Come out and get them.
Open your pocket wider and take three or four!

(the hero of the day leaves the table to receive her long-awaited gifts).

So that you are always in fashion
To look younger
I hand here a comb,
Suitable for hair.
…………………….
……………………
(gives a comb).

4th Buranovskaya grandmother:
To have a great smile
And you laughed all day
Get a gift of pasta
Brush your teeth if you're not lazy.
You will shine with a smile and always look at five!
(gives baby toothpaste).

…………………………………………..

End of introductory segment. To purchase the full version of the scene, go to the basket. After payment, the material will be available for download via a link on the site, or from a letter that will be sent to you by e-mail.

Price: 99 R kill

It's better to change men's clothes.

Congratulations from Babok
(Comes out first 2 and I grandmother.)

Grandmother 2: Have you seen my Glafira?
To take her to hell.
With such a leading program
Don't be embarrassed:
No concert to lead
Don't weave bast shoes.

Suitable 1 and I grandmother
Grandma 1: Stop grumbling, I'm here.
They say together:
We didn’t sleep all night, we composed congratulations.

(Congratulations can be inserted any. Ours was like this :)
Grandmother 1: Five yu five, twenty five,
There is nothing to doubt!
And of course you are far from the evening!
Grandmother 2: You are beautiful as always,
Simply charming!
Don't count your years
Everything will be great!
Grandmother 1: Be happy in the future,
And don't get sick!
Live long don't be bored
Well, don't forget us!
Grandmother 2: On this sunny day,
Accept congratulations as a gift!
Here is a present from us -
Rustic Russian kvass.
It's just Yakubovich
Takes vodka in reserve.
Well, and you on your anniversary
Treat them to friends.
(They give kvass "Pervach".)
Grandmother 1: You, Isolde, were afraid in vain.
Everything came out as expected.
Grandmother 2: So, maybe together with you
Shall we have a holiday?
Grandmother 1: What's next on the program now?
Grandmother 2: Like what? Riddles.
They will be right here.
Grandmother 1: Riddles are for children.
Grandmother 2: And ours are for all viewers.
So here's the first riddle:

If husbands are awake
Whispering strangers
Women's names
So it came...
Grandmother 1: Spring!
Grandmother 2: Yes, no spring.
So, Khan came to them,
Because the wife does not sleep.
Grandmother 1: You, Isolde, do not sweat, do not make our guests laugh .....
Grandma 1: Everything! We remove riddles
And we continue the program.
The song "People in white coats" sounds, the doctor crawls out, wanders, dangles around the hall, pesters the guests with a request to pour

Grandmother 2: Glafira, I just saw
An ambulance drove up to us.
Haven't you fallen ill?
Grandmother 1: Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!
May God be with you!
It's too early for me to rest.
Grandmother 2: Hey, Isolde,
I will ask for pills
Now for us.
Grandma 1: Here's what I'll tell you:
I'm leaving the stage!
Grandmother 2: You go, and I have a pill
Desperately need this
So many congratulations here -
They are dizzy.
Oh!
(She faints. Another grandmother picks her up.)
Grandma 1: Goodbye! Hey!
(Grandmas leave the stage.)
Here you need to insert a scene with a drunk doctor Aibolit, who "torses" the birthday man and drinks with the guests.
After the guests have drunk, had a bite, grandmothers come out again and invite the guests to dance.
Grandmother 1: Come on, Isolde, don’t be shy, take the note “la” as soon as possible!
Music (backing track of ditties sounds)

Grandmothers perform ditties, the words of ditties of congratulations can also be distributed to guests.

You chavo hit me
Balalaika on the shoulder?
I sing ditties now
I want a birthday

Congratulations to the hero of the day
We are ready again and again
Because we feed
Tender love for him.

Your anniversary, what a miracle!
He's great, he's good.
That's why today
You won't leave without gifts.

Who is closest to the bottle?
Pour on the birthday girl!
Let's drink to your health
And you drink to your friends!

We all came from mountains
And cool berezhka.
We wish you happiness
And two bags of gifts.

We wish you inspiration
happiness and success
To be forever young
Like Edita Piekha!

Darling got me hooked
In August in a sleigh.
Let it be forever mischievous
Your eyes will be

Look at me wearing
Mom's dress.
And you - walk in outfits
Only from Yudashkin.

The accordion plays well
Well the heel knocks!
Let's kiss the hero of the day
For her gorgeous look!

How old was she -
It's not a secret at all!
She will always be twenty years old,
Even at eighty!

The answer of the hero of the day to the guests:

Hello dear guests,
A feast awaits you all,
Eat, drink as much as you like
For my health

I'm on this anniversary
I'm tired of dancing.
Call the passport officer
To write off ten years!

Anniversary worries
You tired me!
I'm going on maternity leave
For the next three days!

I go out to dance in a circle.
Move aside, dear friend!
I wish all guests
One hundred friends and one hundred girlfriends.

Anniversary Years
I will exchange for rubles.
If everyone does this,
Tomorrow he will buy a Zhiguli!

I have a second five
Added to the first
And from this into me
Everyone around falls in love.

The song of the Hands Up group “I'm already 18” is playing, two grandmothers appear on the stage. The music stops and a dialogue unfolds between them:
1st grandmother: Oh, we haven’t gone to a disco for a long time. Maybe let's go, this one, shake the old days?
2nd grandmother: Yeah, last time we shook that then we collected your jaw on the floor for two days.
1st grandmother: That's boring, you're boring. You can’t cook anything with you, neither jelly nor shake. Boring. Nothing. Do you know how I can flirt?
2nd grandmother: What can you do?
1st grandmother: Flirt.
2nd grandmother: And whose is it? Well, let's show it.

1st grandmother begins to show her clearly how it is.
2nd grandmother (wailing): OH, I completely lost my mind. At all. What is that? BUT?
1st grandmother: That's boring, you're boring. You are an old stick.
2nd grandmother: Listen! Who are you setting the zeal for here? I'll arrange for you now. You look what! I to you now...
She does not have time to finish the phrase and two grandfathers appear on the horizon. Grandmothers immediately pay attention to him. And they begin to argue who will “frame” whom.
1st grandfather: Look, the chicks are hanging out.
2nd grandfather (deaf): Huh?
1st grandfather: Women, I say, are standing.
2nd grandfather: aha-aha-aha.
1st grandfather: Let's shoot now, chel?
2nd grandfather: aha-aha-aha.
1st grandfather: What is yours?
2nd grandfather: My one, which is younger.
1st grandfather: You know, they are both the same age.
2nd grandfather: Well, then, the one that is prettier.
1st grandfather: You know, he is both mmmmm. Good.
2nd grandfather: Well, then, the one that is closer to me.
1st grandfather (pushing a friend): Then, Achtung, go, go.
2nd grandfather: uh-huh.

2nd grandmother (addressing grandfather): Man, invite the lady to dance ...
1st grandmother: From the mare, took the guy away. Hey, why are you hiding in the garden, go invite the girl, otherwise I'm already all exhausted. (starting to dance) My name is Flower.
1st grandfather: What a lame...decent name. Flower.
1st grandmother: Oh grandfather, you turn me on.
1st grandfather: I would cut off all your flowers.
1st grandmother: Are you by any chance a stallion?
1st grandfather: Rabbit - me.
1st grandmother: Well, well, not bad. It will come down too.
The second pair moves to the fore.
2nd grandmother: Hey, grandfather. What kind of music do you enjoy?
2nd grandfather: I'm dragging myself from the group, My leg is cramped.
2nd grandmother: You know, but I'm going crazy from Kobzon. When I see him on stage, I'm completely blown away.
2nd grandfather: Beauty, how do you like Decl?
2nd grandmother: Oh, Decl - crap sucks.
The first pair returns to the fore again.
1st grandmother: Ooh, you are my tempter. Bite me, bite me.
1st grandfather: What are you doing tonight?
1st grandmother: I'm at home today, drinking tea.
1st grandfather: Would you like to kill a goat? So to say, hanging out is cool.
1st grandmother: I don’t know, my mother won’t let me out. (grandfather hugs grandmother) Decided to take the bull by the horns?
1st grandfather: No, a cow for an udder.

Again, the couples change places.
2nd grandfather: Hey, you are beautiful.
2nd grandmother: It's nice. Do you want it right now?
2nd grandfather: Why pull something? The lower back hurts.
2nd grandmother: Yes, you sho, well then let's go to you.
2nd grandfather: you can’t come to me, I have laces in a glass.
2nd grandmother: who is in your glass?
2nd grandfather: Ancestors, I say, at home with me.
2nd grandmother: Ancestors. Monkeys, right?
2nd grandfather: What monkeys? Parents, I say, at home. (pulls her even tighter).
2nd grandmother: Are you crazy or something? Where is the prelude? Prelude? I'll give you right now. You will play in my oak box in an instant.
2nd grandfather: oyeyey (falls into the grandmother's arms).
The couples break up.
1st grandfather (addressing a friend): How are you?
2nd grandfather: Excellent chick. Uhh. And yours?
1st grandfather: And my grandmother is a candy. Uhh. So I would have torn this wrapper. Uhh.
1st grandmother (addressing her friend): Well, how are you?
2nd grandmother: The one on top is not very good. But the pepper is stuffed.
1st grandmother: And I have a grandfather, so generally a rabbit. Heartbreaker shaker.
2nd grandmother: Well, Flower ... will we continue our acquaintance?
1st grandmother: Well, why not. What about us young people?
Grandmas move to grandpas.
Grandmas: Well, what, grandfathers. Light it up.
Everyone dances the Macarena dance.