How to take good care of yourself. Self-care - what does it mean in today's world? What is more important: taking care of yourself or others

Self-care starts with the little things. Sometimes they don't take time at all, they just shift the focus of attention from outside to inside a little bit. And I become more important to myself, more interesting and more beloved than abstract others. And time magically ceases to flow through your fingers, but slows down and curls up at your feet. And in all this fuss, hints of meaning suddenly peep through. When I wrote about for the first time, not everyone understood that this was not a post about manicure, but now I have several examples of that simple daily care that I myself really appreciate.

Go to bed. During the day or an hour earlier at night. Do not decide that now I will always go to bed early and get up early, do not wait until you get sick, do not talk about the miracles of magical awakenings at 5 in the morning, do not plan for the morning that you did not do in the evening, but just lie down and fall asleep.

Reduce feeds in social networks. I never read my news feed in contact with and on facebook, only instagram and zhzh. I recently unfollowed half of my Instagram followers. And finally I made a filter for my friends feed on LiveJournal, there are only 15 people there, those whose posts I look forward to and always read from beginning to end, I called it “Little time”. Haha, even when I have enough time, I only open it now.

Cross off 3-4 items from your to-do list. Don't do them, no. Just open the to-do list, read it a couple of times, understand what you absolutely don’t want to do or don’t really need to do from there. And remove these items. And then maybe the lists?

Give thanks. A friend for a pleasant conversation. Husband for a sincere morning. blogger for good mood from his post.

throw something away. Just walk around the house with a bag and ask: “What should I put here?” And you can open a closet or a kitchen cabinet… Well, we all intuitively know where exactly there is something that deserves a better life. And most importantly, we deserve a better life!

Gather without delay. Wherever you need to go, gather without haste. Think over clothes, not for others (“It seems that he has already seen me in this dress, oh horror, I have nothing to wear!”), But for myself (“Will I be comfortable in this all day?”, “Will I freeze to in the evening?”, “Or maybe something more spacious and lighter?”). Do not forget your favorite tumblr (I always go with my keepcup now), charger for your phone, choose earrings and what you have long forgotten to bring.

Walk and feel your feet roll on the ground. This is a very simple and effective meditation, it immediately brings you back to the here and now, returns focus to the body, and causes a feeling of incredible gratitude for the fact that "I can walk and that's why I walk."

Do not pick up the phone while eating. At least once a day, do not eat at a laptop, TV screen, tablet, book, magazine, and how else can you ignore what you eat? Let it be 10 minutes for smells, flavor combinations, textures, appliances, chewing and enjoyment.

Notice what you can be proud of. Did you eat once without your phone in your hands? Found a good answer to awkward question? See if this plastic can be recycled? Only along the way, mind you, do not remember all the unfinished business and unfulfilled promises. Not today.

Make yourself some tea. Good. In your favorite cup Leisurely. Drink and look out the window (not the phone, yes). Pretend there's nothing more important to do right now than this tea. I get it when Tasha is sleeping. Tea ends, Tasha wakes up, it happens that I didn’t have time to do anything else. But this tea is wonderful.

Hug those you love, hug for a long time until they start to break out, and when they start to break out - tickle! It is not always possible to find gentle words or a good joke. But hugs and tickles work flawlessly. And what about taking care of yourself? Firstly, British scientists have long established that in order to preserve mental health you need to hug at least 8 times a day, secondly, someone else's laughter is very contagious, and thirdly, there is a chance that you will be tickled too! And isn't that wonderful?!

So, and not a word about the notorious hot bath :))) and how would you continue this list?

When a serious accident suddenly occurs in an airplane at high altitude, the cabin is depressurized. In this case, passengers have only 15–20 seconds left to wear an oxygen mask.

Flight attendants always warn in advance that in any case, you should put on the mask first on yourself, and only then help others. If you do not have time to protect yourself in the allotted time, then you will simply lose consciousness and die.

If you take care of yourself first, then the chances of helping your family and loved ones survive will increase significantly. If you try to save them first, chances are good that no one will survive at all.

This is not a matter of heroism, but of ordinary common sense. For example, your child may begin to ask questions about what is going on around, why wear a mask at all, why is it that color, why is it hanging from the ceiling, and so on. If he sees that the mask is already on you, then most likely he will simply repeat the same thing.

Or imagine a different situation: to keep yourself in good shape, you visit regularly. Suddenly, your loved one is hospitalized with a serious injury, and you drop everything you do to be with him around the clock. You take care of the victim, giving him your all free time and neglecting the need to monitor their health too.

For all those months, while your loved one is struggling with the disease, you manage to lose weight beyond recognition, ruin your stomach with constant dry food, and in addition to all this, you experience constant nervous tension.

There comes a moment when you make a very unexpected, but the right decision - to start playing sports again. It would seem, why? Because you neglected your health for a long time. Because the illness of a loved one is not at all a reason to put an end to yourself. Because you understand that taking care of yourself and taking care of your loved ones are by no means mutually exclusive concepts.

There is a very thin line between being overprotective and just being helpful. Sometimes we care about someone else just because we are afraid with ourselves.

When we see someone with problems more serious than ours, we immediately switch to them. We allow ourselves to spit on our own difficulties only because we are too lazy and cowardly. We keep putting things off. People are very inventive and always find millions of reasons, just to do nothing. Sometimes these reasons are really strange. Here is one of my favorites: a person creates a bunch of non-existent problems for himself in order to distract himself from the most important and unpleasant.

Joe Rogan, American stand-up comedian

In addition to switching to the problems of others in the hope of escaping their own, people often fall into the other extreme -. How tempting it is to go headlong into work and not notice anything around! Yes, it is often very, very pleasant, especially for those who are really passionate about their work.

We take overtime work, we stay up late in the office, start working on the weekends, agree to replace a colleague who has fallen ill, so long as there is no time left for anything else. Do you feel that something is unclean here? The way it is. We try to hide from problems we don't want to deal with. From problems that we really fear, are ashamed of and avoid. From those issues that are truly important. From your own problems.

If you are tired of doing nothing, hiding from difficulties and taking care of everyone except yourself, then remember a few elementary rules.

• Do something every day that gives you joy and pleasure. Go to the gym if you like it. Read books. Sing, draw, eat sweets. All these little rewards will help you avoid getting emotional. If you are a creative or public person who is constantly doing something for others, then do something that will benefit only you and no one else.
• Take care of yourself. Expand your horizons, finally figure out what you want from this life, what goal you are striving for. Realize that no one but you can do this. Stop neglecting your interests and find your source of inspiration. For example, read the biography of a person whom you consider worthy of emulation and praise.
• Learn to take a break and stop overworking. Give your brain a break during which you just allow yourself not to think about anything. This is where yoga or meditation can be of great help.

We cannot share with others what we do not have ourselves.

Whitney Cummings American screenwriter and producer

It is much easier to give friends and loved ones joy, support and inspiration when they are inside us. That's why you need to take care of yourself first.

Psychologists and sociologists talk so often about the need to take care of yourself that the very concept of this care is becoming more and more blurred. Usually by it they mean something that brings us pleasure. “You are completely exhausted at work. It's time for you to take care of yourself. Do yoga. Take a walk, it's such a nice weather outside! Go to a beauty salon. Take a fragrant bath. Unwind!"

It is very important to pamper yourself from time to time. When you feel overwhelmed, sometimes you need to literally force yourself to relax and have fun. Sometimes it resembles a bitter pill that you really don’t want to drink, even though it is necessary for recovery.

But are simply pleasant activities always enough for us? In fact, the concept of self-care is much broader. And often means not pleasant things at all. This concern is associated with working on yourself, with adult actions and difficult decisions, for which you may be judged. But sooner or later you will realize that you cannot do without these decisions. So how do you take good care of yourself?

1. Take care of your body

Hiking is the most unpleasant occupation. Is there even one person on Earth who likes them? Many of us visit the dentist at best once every three years. And about trips to the gynecologist, urologist and similar delights, it’s not worth talking about at all.

The hardest thing is to force yourself to go to the doctor when you are depressed or something is bothering you. The depressed part of you doesn't care that you might be sick. In fact, she doesn't care at all. In a state of anxiety, making an appointment is generally scary. What if they tell you that something is wrong with you? What if the nurse is rude to you? What if the doctor puts pressure on you? What if you have to go to the doctor alone for the rest of your days because you can't find your soul mate? Yes, it sounds silly, but sometimes many of us have such thoughts.

As you age, you gradually begin to question your invulnerability. You understand that you still have to pick up some sores.

In this regard, taking care of yourself means that you need to see a doctor in a timely manner when you feel that something is wrong with you, and also do not forget about preventive visits to the doctor. Even if you consider yourself a superman and it's hard for you to admit that sometimes you need medical help.

2. Don't be afraid to say no

Sometimes it's very difficult. Especially if you are used to achieving your goals and doing everything carefully. It is not easy to change a job that is not suitable for you, to give up a difficult relationship, to give a friend a dog that you do not have enough time to care for. You have to admit that you are not coping and that something is beyond your capabilities. And this is extremely annoying.

When psychologists advise setting boundaries, avoiding overwhelming workloads, and avoiding over-committing yourself, they seem to be talking about simple and obvious things. In fact, it's not at all fun to explain to your boss why you are increasingly taking sick days off. It’s even less satisfying to eventually admit that you can’t pull off a full-time job and leave your current position.

It is important to understand that sometimes, in order to take care of yourself, you need to ignore the possible negative assessment of others and realize what you need.

Yes, you may feel weak, lazy and irresponsible. But deep down you will know that you are doing the right thing. And over time, you will only be convinced that you have made the right choice.

3. Ask for help

Often, in order to ask someone for help, you need to overcome your fears and get out. It's really not that easy. You can never accurately predict how other people will react. They have the right to refuse you.

And even if you have great relationships with family and friends, asking for help is still not easy. You will worry about making your parents worry about you, and whether your depression will be passed on to your friends. Or people close to you may consider that their care and love is not enough for you, that they are doing something wrong. It may seem that in this way you will have to choose between silently enduring your pain and inflicting pain on others.

But this is an erroneous opinion. Your loved ones will experience much more if you hide from them the reasons for your experiences. Yes, the art of asking for help competently needs to be learned. But if you try to do this, you will realize that everything is actually not so scary.

4. Work on relationships

Sometimes it also needs to be done to take care of yourself. Working on a relationship means being honest and open with your loved ones about what you need, want, and don't want. In addition, you should make every effort to support the people you love and show them your love.

Even if you are depressed and you literally don’t care about anyone or anything, this does not make you the center of the universe and does not give you the right to act like a complete asshole.

Take care of your loved ones, because these are the people who care about you.

5. Don't Forget Financial Matters

Everything is simple and clear here. Pay your bills. Sometimes finance is very hard to get started. Especially if you can’t pull yourself together in other matters. Sometimes it can be scary even to check the status of your bank account, because then you will condemn yourself for how much money you spent on useless things or lunch at a cafe.

Find a way to track your expenses. If you are sure that you have enough money for everything you need, then you will feel much more confident.

If you succeed in all of the above, you can be proud of yourself. At some point in our lives, taking care of ourselves in such not-quite-pleasant ways is especially difficult. But you can do it.

Hello everyone! I want to ask my readers a question? How would you rate your efforts to take care of yourself? In your opinion, do you devote enough time to “yourself”, pamper, entertain, in the end, love. Make an analysis on a ten-point system. If the result is less than 7 points, do you need to reflect and reconsider the current situation and take actions to take full care of yourself?

It is difficult to be a woman, especially in our time. I'm not saying it's easier for men. I'm just talking from my belfry. We must be loving mothers, attentive wives, accomplished individuals. Agree, all this does not come at once, you need to endlessly work on it, give yourself up and at the same time not forget about yourself, which, unfortunately, is very difficult.

I remember in Soviet times devotion to the full and no matter the husband, children, work was welcomed. A position was promoted that completely destroyed a person as a person. At least I think so. If God forbid, you want to take time for yourself, sleep longer or take additional leave at his own expense to go to the sea - all this was equated with laziness and frivolity. I agree that work ennobles a person, gives him the opportunity to fulfill himself, but one should not forget about rest. Taking care of yourself is not selfish, it is normal to want to be happy and healthy. And what's wrong with that? Look at young mothers ... I myself was like that, I didn’t sleep at night, I looked like hell, I didn’t think about rest at all, because I was sure that I should give myself to the child in full! What nonsense! Who needs a tortured mother, wife? Children are happiness, and I will do everything for them, but this does not mean that you need to put a big and bold cross on yourself. The child will be much happier if a happy, healthy, adequate mother is next to him.

Socialism and communism are gradually fading into the background, maybe it's for the better, or maybe for the worse, but I realized for sure that in modern world Taking time for yourself is a luxury. Great opportunities, irresistible desires, aspirations to become successful and rich do not allow a person to love himself. There is not enough time for anything. As a result, health, psychological state is undermined, families are collapsing. Therefore, it is very important to maintain a vital balance in every area of ​​life.

What is meant by “self-care”?

By saying this phrase, I do not mean lying on the couch for a long time, watching TV shows or going to beauty salons every day to get a chic hairstyle. This is a broad concept that covers some areas of life. For example:

All three points are inextricably linked with each other and cannot interact one by one.

Body- our shell, which gives physical strength, allows you to perform the actions that you want. When I talk about taking care of the body, I mean:

• (healthy food, adherence to the regime, cleansing the body)
• do physical exercises - run, walk more, other sports or just do exercises daily
• diseases - listen to your body and take appropriate actions in time
• appearance– facial, hair, nails care, the ability to dress for the occasion, comfortably and beautifully
• full-fledged

Soul- our inner world, mental health.

• hobby
• Reading books
• creation
• time alone with yourself
• travels
• shopping
• pleasure
• entertainment
• communication

Well, the last one is mind which implies personal development:

• education
• self-realization
• planning
• success in the enterprise

What happens if you don't take care of yourself?

it main motivation which should push you to action. And the question is quite broad. As you already understood, all three areas interact with each other. Pleasure can be not only physical, but also moral. You take a bath, while resting not only your body, but also your mind. Sport not only gives strength and endurance, but also affects emotions. Communication is not only a source mental strength but also knowledge. Those who do not know how to fully take care of themselves run the risk of constantly being depressed and depressed, earning a lot of sores and losing their moral strength. I believe that every woman, especially a mother, should not allow herself to bring herself to such a state.

In order for the family to be happy, harmony reigned in it and understanding, it is necessary that the woman, the keeper of the family hearth, be satisfied. I really like the idea Svetlana Goncharova, a family time management expert who has been helping women organize their lives for years. So, she says that a woman is not the head, but the heart of the family. If mother and wife are happy, then husband and children will be happy. I fully agree with this.

The inability to plan life, set goals and realize them, threatens with failures, a decrease in self-esteem, dissatisfaction with oneself. Therefore, it is very important to study the issues of effective time management.

How to start taking care of yourself?

Step 1.

First of all, you need to discard the feeling of self-pity, get rid of laziness and excuses, such as “there is no time, money, children do not give, there is no opportunity” and so on. You need to want to change yourself and your attitude towards yourself, sincerely love yourself and understand that no one will do this except you.

Don't be a victim of circumstance, think proactively. And remember, only you are responsible for what happens to you, learn to admit mistakes and think ahead, asking yourself the right questions.

For example, instead of: “Why is all this happening to me?”, “Children do not give me time to rest”, “My husband devotes little time”, “I'm tired ...”, you need to ask yourself questions: “What can I do to make a difference”, “How can I organize my day to free up more free time?”, “How can I get my husband’s attention?”, “How can I take care of myself to feel healthy?”. As they say, all illnesses, failures and mistakes are in our heads.

Step 2

The second step is to determine which areas of your life are suffering the most: body, soul, mind. Here are a few options on how you can fix the situation.

For body:

• Start falling asleep and
• Drink more.
• Refuse junk food (fast food, smoked meats, and so on).
• Normalize the diet (eat often 4-5 times a day, but in small portions).
• Start playing sports, running or just doing gymnastics at home.
• Make an appointment with a doctor about your diseases, if you have them (dentist, gynecologist, therapist, endocrinologist, cosmetologist)
• Make up

For the soul:

Think about what you would like to do, what hobbies you are most interested in, how you like to relax. Plan a vacation with family and husband, devote one day to this area every week. It is not necessary to fly to Egypt for the weekend, you can just go to the cinema, spend the evening with your favorite pastime, embroidery, take a relaxing bath or read a book. Spend more time with your husband and kids. Meet old friends.

For the mind:

• start learning (languages, trainings, courses, reading educational books)
• apply for a job
• self-realization in any area
• start your own blog and share your experience with like-minded people
• engage in self-development

There are many ways to fill in the gaps. Each of us has our own problems and ways to solve them. But in order to bring them to life, you need to be able to:

• manage your time wisely
• do only the most important
• do only what will lead you to the goal
• to begin
• don't be shy to ask for help
• believe in yourself

Step 3

And the last step is to take action, not tomorrow, not next week, but right now! Start small, take your time, don't get frustrated if something doesn't work out for you. For example, you decide to go in for sports. Gradually increase your exercise time. No need to start with half an hour, the first time and ten minutes will be enough. I think you understand what I want to tell you. You will succeed!

If you are a MOM and you need help in taking care of yourself, then I highly recommend this seminar called “Mom full of energy”. It's absolutely free! You can get it by clicking on the picture.